Friends, it's been too long....
First and foremost, my shit was finally delivered, thus concluding my moving from the desert nightmare, and that's been occupying quite a bit of my time. I stare at my boxes of stuff while I lay on my couch, watching tv, and thinking about how it really needs to be unpacked.
The movers were...interesting. It was just 2 dudes, one was just the driver, and I think he was Santa Claus. I mean, he was old, and fat, and had a white beard, and delivered shit, so, Santa. The other guy was only marginally younger, but in far better shape and did all the lifting. It was very funny, husband kept trying to help, and the movers kept yelling at him to stop because I guess they can get in trouble for that, so husband just paced nervously in the 3 feet of space not occupied by shit. And they were SO damn chatty and it was SO awkward because I knew that just a few weeks before, these dudes packed up all my porn and brought it to me. I would have been happy if they just dumped it all in the driveway and sped off, but no such luck. But, my stuff is here now.
Let's talk about the mixer disaster for a minute... I have a Kitchenaid Stand Mixer, and it's my prized possession. Mother in law gave it to me for my bridal shower, and I fucking love this thing. I decided that I was going to make my friends gingerbread houses for Christmas, so I went about making my dough with my blessed mixer. But as I'm using it, the head part with the mixer blade attached to it is wobbling up and down while it's supposed to be locked, and causing the whole mixer to jump all over the counter. So I manage to finish my dough and icing, and then I start to examine my mixer. It has a bunch of screws and stuff on it, so I tighten every screw I can find (this is an important detail), and the problem does not improve. Husband comes home, and I show him the problem: the little latch you pull to lock the head isn't locking tight. So husband, who is very mechanically minded takes the whole thing apart, which was not an easy feat, and involved much banging and cursing, and sees that the latch is in fact loose, and tightens it, and proceeds to attempt to put it back together. Only pieces that slid out very easily will not slide back into place with any amount of banging and swearing. And husband starts to get real mad. Also, you may not be aware, but these motherfuckers are FULL of grease, so there's grease all over my dining room table. Husband says he needs a tool he doesn't have, so we leave it until the next day. Husband goes to Lowes after work, and continues to work on it, and eventually gets it back together. We plug it in....and nothing. So husband takes the motor cover off, and finds that in all his banging, he has loosened a metal thingy (circut? idk.) that needs to be re-soldered. No big deal, he can borrow a soldering iron. And then, as if on cue, the piece he adjusted inside fucking breaks. And I start to cry. He starts to look more closely at the mixer and says "Did you tighten every screw?" and I said that I had, and he starts laughing like a mad scientist. APPARENTLY, one of the screws I tightened down was actually supposed to be sticking way out like I found it because it keeps the mixer head from wobbling up and down.... So that's the story of how I made my husband break my mixer while trying to fix it when it wasn't broken. And it's sitting non functionally in my kitchen until he can borrow a soldering iron, and get some kind of drill to get out a piece he replaced permanently. I should probably just never touch it again.
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