Oh. Em. Gee. Y'all. My stuff will FINALLY be here tomorrow. When I say stuff, I literally mean all of my worldly possessions. Why have I been living at The Base By The Beach for a month like a hobo with no stuff (albeit a hobo with a super nice, if empty, house)? Oh friends. This is a story of clusterfuckery the likes of which haven't been seen before.
Some back story: before we lived here, we lived at The Base In The Desert, which sucked balls before the moving disaster ever even happened. So, TBITD is a training base, which means that, for the most part, the only people stationed there are students and their instructors. Sometimes students can't start their school when they first get there for a number of different reasons, like a security clearance that won't go through, or they arrived there too far before or after their class starts, or they have a raging case of highly contagious super-crabs. So, while the crotch exterminators are busy with other things, they go on what's called "casual status" and have to do whatever jobs need filling. These jobs include working in all the offices one has to out process through. As anyone who has ever encountered a student older than about 13 can tell you, those fuckers don't give a rat's ass about anything that doesn't directly concern them. You could be on fire 5 feet away, and as long as their iPod isn't in danger of melting, you may as well not exist.
SO. Husband's school was winding down, and we knew we were coming to the beach, but didn't have orders yet. Typically you get them 3-4 weeks before you leave. The 4 week mark hit, and no orders. No worries yet, since we're still in the 3-4 week range. 3 week mark passes, and we grow concerned. At this point we may not be able to schedule them to move our shit, and that makes me very angry, because I'd rather burn it all than move it again. H starts inquiring about the orders at school, and his instructors go to bat for him. 2 weeks comes and goes, and still nothing. We begin pricing doing the move ourselves, and I faint dramatically onto a chaise lounge like a Tennessee Williams character. We finally get to the last week of our stay in the desert and still have no goddamn orders. I'm ready to start stabbing people for answers. Husband is not a fan of that tactic on legal and moral grounds. But we manage to get our answers without the aid of violence, and let me tell you, they were not helpful.
This is the story: His paperwork to get his orders was sent out from his squadron exactly when it was supposed to be, and it was complete and ready to go. At the first office it went to, someone lost part of the info packet. It was ignored until H's instructors asked what the hell the holdup was, then replaced, and promptly lost again. After it was replaced for the second time, it was processed and forwarded to the office of the person who formally issues the orders. At this point, it's ready to go, someone just needs to effectively press the button. So it makes it to its final destination, and sits....for 2 weeks. Apparently, the guy who did that particular job was on vacation. Which is fine, everyone needs a vacation, especially from the strenuous job of processing orders. There was another guy who did orders for a different squadron who was supposed to cover for him. He did not. So once the guy on vacation comes back, he just throws the giant pile of orders in the air, and grabs them at random to process, never mind who has been waiting for weeks and who got there yesterday. Fast forward to the day before we're supposed to leave, and several angry phone calls from his scary first-shirt, and he FINALLY gets them. At this point we have put all our stuff in storage. H tries to go to the office that arranges moving and explain his situation, and they said they'd be happy to help him....in 2 weeks. When he says he's leaving tomorrow, they laughed in his face (remember...causals). So we leave and hope for the best.
We left the desert on October 14. Thankfully, when we went to housing here, the guy in charge had dealt with the nightmarish joke that is TBITD, and was very understanding and helpful. And now our stuff will be here in less than 24 hours!! And I've been having Christmas withdrawal because my tree and stuff would have been up like a week and a half ago if I had any of it. I did make a wreath to get me through, but mama needs her fix. The wreath is way cute. Pictures and a tutorial are to follow.
To sum up: Fuck TBITD. It's been too long without my stand mixer.
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